silly thoughts

i finally got the much awaited haircut i wanted. been planning to have one for ages but it just wouldn’t push through. anyway, after everything was done, the girl who blow-dried my hair was cleaning up in my place and i was still in front of the mirror combing my hair. she asked my age and if i was still studying. i told her i’m 21 and that i’m still in college. she was so surprised to hear that i’m already 21. she said i look so much younger. yeah right. whatever. haha. coz i always notice that i look older every damn day i look at myself in the mirror. and then she made a comment, "ang yaman kasi ni ma’am." i just laughed when she said that but it got me thinking. why do people associate youth with wealth? does it always seem that rich people look young because they have the means to do everything to look young? (i’m not rich by the way, i’m just an average person). i refuse to believe that. i’ve always believed that people look young because they are always happy. and i admit, i’m not one of those. i don’t think i’m a happy person. anyway, so i’m always amused with people who have crow’s feet. it’s the wrinkle near the eyes. irene and i believe that it’s a sign that a person has lived a happy life, because it’s a result of always smiling and projecting a happy face. but of course for others, having crow’s feet is because of genetics.

i’ve always believed that when you wait for something long enough, you’ll actually get it, no matter what. and one of my bestfriends made a comment that my faith in waiting is inspiring. well, right now, i guess not. i told myself that if by december 1 i don’t get the things i have been waiting for, i’m just gonna let go of those things and take a break from waiting. i deserve to have some break right? i mean, i’ve waited for more than a year for some of the things in my list. and i think now is the right time to have a break. it will be something like a sabbatical. haha.

"it’s like waiting for rain in this drought. it’s not worth it."–a cinderella story

"every relationship has its bad days, but it doesn’t mean you just run. tomorrow is another day."–gilmore girls

i went to glorietta last weekend not knowing that there was a mallwide sale. since there was a sale, i decided to look for tops and pants i can wear for school. so i went to the usual stores i go to for business attire clothes. first, i checked out kamiseta. kamiseta has a policy of no fitting of clothes during sale. and i’m sorry but i really don’t see the logic of having this policy. i mean, isn’t the ‘no return, no exhcange of sale items’ punishment enough for people buying clothes on sale?

my friend and i believe that at some point in your life, there comes a time when you have to be somewhere to witness something that will make or break your life. my friend asked me to go with her because for her, that time has come. and i’m sorry that she became hopeless.

anyway, while we were there, we saw a high school classmate. we were all surprised to see each other and my friend and i can’t help but think that there was something with what happened. like god was telling us something. it couldn’t just be any coincidence. besides, i don’t believe in coincidences. there’s no such thing.

i saw a beautiful mind a few nights ago for the nth time. this movie is just perfect. i just love it. it never fails to make me cry every time i see it. the movie shows the perfect gesture of love, by just being with the person you love no matter what. and it also has the perfect soundtrack. all love can be by charlotte church. ahh..it’s perfect. you should listen to it.

"you are the reason i am. you are all my reasons"–a beautiful mind

i really hate it when people just come and go. they say hi and talk about nothing. they don’t ask how you really are. they talk to you just to show they care when they really don’t care. for those people, i wish you’d really take time to see how your friends have been. i think it’s better to not say hi at all rather than saying hi and making the person feel that your gesture was not sincere.

this is for the one person in school who has been showing her concern ever since my life started to fall apart. you know who you are. i always text you to thank you for everything, for making sure that i have someone beside me and for making sure that i’m ok. you never fail me. i feel so indebted to you. thank you so much for everything. you have no idea how touched i feel everytime you check on me. thank you. thank you. thank you. i talk to my bestfriends about you and they say you’re an angel for everything you’ve done. truly, you are:)

it was my first time to be in a police station last saturday. don’t worry, i didn’t get into trouble or anything. i wasn’t robbed, i didn’t witness a crime, i didn’t get into an accident. and i believe that last saturday was my first time to witness, first hand, inefficiency. my god, the police officers taking the reports were really slow. slow as turtles. i’m sorry. not only do they move like turtles, they also type very slow. and i’m sorry but in that kind of job, i think it’s a requirement that they type fast to finish as many reports as possible. and man, the station looked so old and worn. i mean, we all know there’s a budget for it but where is it going? and some of the police officers weren’t even wearing their uniforms. some were wearing shorts, a shirt, and slippers. what the hell. and you call them police officers??? people who are supposed to help maintain order??? goodness…

it’s christmas already but i don’t feel it. it’s hot as summer. but sometimes it’s cold in the morning. and this is really making me sad. christmas is my favorite time of the year. i always look forward to it but what’s happening this year. during the past years, once september starts, i put up the tree (although starting 2000, my dad requested to put up the tree after halloween), i start to make my christmas list, i start my christmas shopping, but this year, nothing. it’s already mid-november and i haven’t taken care of the christmas decorations at home. it really bothers me. what’s wrong with me? (this is my expression lately). but i’m looking forward to one thing this christmas, that’s for sure. i’m gonna see my cousin from the states and i love her so much. it’s been 4 years since i last saw her.

i’m in a touchy-feely mode tonight (if ever there’s such a word to describe what i’m feeling right now). it all started while i was watching Alias. i love watching the show coz i’m really into CIA-FBI-secret agent stuff. and i also like watching it because i love michael vartan. the moment i saw him in never been kissed, i didn’t let go of him. haha. anyway, the episode was about jack bristow being very sick. he has some genetic mutation happening in his body and there’s no cure. one of the symptoms of his illness is having hallucinations. one of his hallucinations was, he was being treated by dr. landel. when jack was still in cia, one of his missions was to extract the doctor in russia because he was suspected to be a spy. after which, he hid him in some place with a new identity, never to be found again. jack was hallucinating that the doctor was treating him because the doctor was involved in finding a cure for genetic mutation before. no one knew where jack hid the doctor and sydney (jack’s daughter) wanted to find the doctor so bad to cure her dad. in order to locate the doctor, they made a little role playing (since jack was hallucinating). they went back to the time when sydney was still a kid and jack was still married. sydney played as jack’s wife. they lived again the day when jack’s handler called his house to ask where the doctor is being placed. it turns out that jack’s mission was falling on his daughter’s birthday and he just felt so bad. he was talking to his wife (sydney), telling her that their daughter deserves better, that he should spend time with her, and that when it comes to their daughter, there should be no excuses. upon hearing those words, sydney was holding back her tears, jack, not realizing that he was talking to his daughter. and while i was watching, i was also crying. i’m such a sucker for father-daughter relationships. it just really melts my heart when i see dads with their daughters. because in most cases, fathers don’t really show (at least explicitly) how they love their children so much. so when i see a dad really close to his daughter/s, it just melts my heart.

after watching Alias, i was looking for a song to go with the group picture i gave cathy for the yearbook. i was checking the songs in my computer and the cds in my collection when i came across a compiled cd given by a very special friend (*wink, i know he’s reading this. haha). the cd was one of the gifts he gave me when we had a misunderstanding some months ago. anyway, i listened to it again and i noticed that he put the song you’re a god by vertical horizon. so i asked my friend if all the songs in the cd were meant for me. his answer was yes. and wow, that was really something for me, knowing that it’s one of his songs for me. i don’t feel bad or bothered or anything. it just feels weird knowing that there’s something there. you get it?

and then there’s also the story about my two greatest friends in school, irene and cheryl. i met cheryl during freshmen orientation and after that, we just didn’t let go of each other. i absolutely love her. i’m so lucky to have her as my friend. irene was also a blockmate during first year. after first year, the three of us made sure that we got the same classes. it just changed during third year when the registrar made the schedule of students and online enlistment started and we entered our specialization. cheryl entered iep, irene is also management, but she’s in a different block. since then, we never got to be together for one whole day gain. we’re lucky if we have the same breaks, which really didn’t happen. because i was in a touchy-feely mode, i was staring at our picture together for the longest time. i reminisced the good old days and i just sighed when i think of how much i miss them.

and then there’s also maalaala mo kaya. my friend texted me to watch the episode a while ago. it was a replay but it was a very good episode. it was regine and piolo in the story and regine was not really normal and piolo fell in love with her. i’m such a hopeless romantic. love stories also melt my heart. so i believe in a perfect kind of love. i believe that there’s only one person meant to be with another person. that no matter what the odds are, if they’re meant to be, they will be together. and that nothing can break them apart.

***

piolo: pwede ba akong manligaw?

regine: kailan?

piolo: bukas.

"when love is real, it defies all reasons. when love is true, it ignores all pains. when love is great, it waits, it persists, and it lingers."

"you’re all i want. you’re all i need. you’re everything. everything. and how can i stand here with you and not be moved by you? would you tell me how could it be any better than this?" –everything by lifehouse