silly thoughts

during my spanish 3 class, my teacher would call on students and throw questions as part of our oral exercises. one of the questions she asked me was ‘is your favorite color green?’ (in spanish, of course). i replied, ’si.’ she got surprised that i said yes so she asked, ‘por que? (why?)’ and i said, ‘porque de kerokerokeroppi (because of kerokerokeroppi).’ and that gave her a laugh. but it’s true. i began to love green because of kerokerokeroppi. when i was in grade 2, i was a girl scout and there was like an initiation, or something like that. for that event, we needed to bring a godparent. my dad brought his officemate then, now his partner in a business. after the event, my tita gave me a gift. and inside the giftgate paperbag was a kerokerokeroppi bag with lots of goodies; pens, notebooks, stationery, a coloring book, pencils, erasers…a lot. all kerokerokeroppi. and that’s how it all started.

last saturday, i was in glorietta, waiting for my sister to finish her p&g thing. i was walking around when i saw a giftgate store. i entered the store and looked for kerokerokeroppi stuff. i didn’t find much but the pens inside the glass case caught my attention. i was choosing what kerokerokeroppi stuff to buy when a cute girl with her dad stood beside me. the kid was looking for things she could ask her dad to buy for her. and while i was looking, the dad kept on looking at me. and it looked like he was keeping himself from laughing. so i got kinda embarrassed that i’m such a big girl already but i’m still buying sanrio stuff. the saleslady also had this weird smile on her face while she was helping me out with what i wanted to buy. but what the heck. who cares. i’m still a kid at heart. i still love kerokerokeroppi:)

one of my bestfriends sent me a long email and what she wrote was really nice and inspiring. i thought of posting some parts of her email here because they are so true…

"We’re studying Marcel again in our philo class, the metaphysic and phenomenology of hope. And Marcel says that Hope is a positive non-acceptance of things. It’s the refusal to take things as they are, but in deciding not to accept things as they are, you relax,. Sometimes, when we can’t accept something, we resist, we constrict ourselves. But when you hope, you just let things be, respect things as they are, while believeing that there’s deliverance. I love this part: Hoping is patience. When you hope, you recognize that each person has his/her own personal rhythm, that we place confidence in a creative power, a kind of growth that we can’t slow down nor speed up. That in being patient with others and events, we should never substitute our own rhythm to theirs, we shouldn’t impose our wills upon them. Lahat ng bagay may panahon. Lahat ng panahon nagdadala ng pagbabago. At lahat ng pagbabago nauuwi sa pagpapalaya.

Hopeful in patience, that’s what I’m trying my best to be through this all. I don’t know what God wants me to do, I don’t know where I’m supposed to go, or what He wants me to do with the offer or my dreams. Although I can pray and pray even harder, there is nothing in the world- not a sign, not an omen that would tell me what to do. I know the decision rests on me. And that I have to take full responsibility for it, I wouldn’t point to a sign or a feeling that would legitimize my actions. Kahit masakit, I have to make a decision and believe that either way, God will be with me.

Sabi ng theo teacher ko, nakakalungkot daw kasi for some reason, may nawawala sa tin pag tumatanda tayo. Totoo yun, kasi I felt that in college, the time of my life when I really grew up, maraming nawala sakin. But if there’s anything, I gained a lot too. when you grow up pala, you start seeing other people, you begin seeing their side before you uphold yours. When you grow up the world isn’t about you. It’s not about who saw you and who didn’t, who gave you something and who didn’t, it’s not about who’s there for you and who’s not. It becomes more and more a question of how you can be there for others, what you can do to make other people’s lives easier. You line of vision becomes vaster, the world becomes bigger and it becomes scarier."

most of my friends and i concluded that last year was break-up season. for the most part of the year, all we heard were news of couples we know breaking up here and there. but when the year was about to end, we were starting to hear of people getting together. for this month, i heard about people dating and moving on. and i’m really happy for them because they really seem happy to tell me about their dating stories. some of them asked me if it was too fast for them to have finally moved on. and i think that it matters. all that matters is that a person has finally moved on because there can be a lot of things he/she is missing out.

anyway, i’m also happy to feel that love is in the air because valentine’s day is just around the corner. it’s my second favorite event of the year after christmas. i love it so much. i think i learned to love it because in my family we celebrate valentine’s day like how we celebrate christmas. i remember when my sister and i were still kids that my parents would give us gifts during valentine’s day and i think we also buy gifts for them. i know it’s kinda weird to celebrate it like christmas but that’s how we do it. we always eat out to celebrate the occasion and i really hope that we still celebrate it this year even if my dad is still sick.

i think it’s just right to celebrate valentine’s day like christmas because love is one of the greatest things of all time.

"if i could find a good person to love me, i’d forgive him"–desperate housewives

i had a funny experience a while ago in school. i was giving out surveys for my marketing class in prom a to some of my friends. i gave one to a very close friend and when she was done i just got the survey and thanked her. after a few minutes, she called me. i asked why and she motioned for me to come closer like she was gonna whisper something to me. so i leaned a little towards her and she whispered ‘ang ganda ng butt mo ngayon ha. looks good with your pants.’ and i just laughed when she told that to me. i’ve never had that comment in my life. haha. and i told her that it’s good that i have one right now. i asked her if she remembered the time that i became so slim that all the fats in my body disappeared, including my butt.

there was a time during college that i lost a lot of weight and i had a friend calling me ‘hiphop’ every time he saw me coz i became so thin that all my pants looked baggy on me. and i remember telling the ‘hiphop’ story to my dad and asking him to go with me to the mall at that instant to buy a lot of pants and replace everything in my closet. haha. and when i replaced all the pants in my closet, my friend who called me hiphop noticed that i bought new pants. and he couldn’t call me hiphop anymore. haha.

i don’t know if it was a good thing that i lost weight. for one, it was costly because i had to change the clothes in my closet. haha. and because i really shrank, i have the worst stretch marks on my hips.

and i still want to lose weight…haha…

i love going to the dentist. i was one of those kids who didn’t get scared during the first trip to the dentist. i don’t know the reason i started to love going to the dentist. it was probably because of the order of my dentist to eat ice cream after having a tooth taken out. haha.

my first dentist was a family friend my mom knew from church. i loved her. of all my dentists, i think she was the best. but her family migrated to switzerland and my sister and i were entrusted to her ‘right hand’ dentists. i didn’t like her replacement because her hand was really heavy. i really get hurt whenever she does something to my teeth even if she’s just cleaning it. one time i even threw up accidentally because she was pushing the thingy for my teeth too much inside my mouth. i was having a sort of fluoride treatment then and there was this thing where the solution for the treatment was poured. the thing was really big for my mouth and so i threw up from too much pushing. after that incident i told my mom i wanted to change my dentist.

and i did change my dentist. my mom’s office have this company clinic for employees and their families. i started going there after the ‘throwing up’ experience. i liked my dentist there. she handles me carefully. i don’t feel a thing when she does something to my teeth. unfortunately, she migrated to canada.

i also like the dentist who replaced her. she’s sweet and caring. she really knows what she’s doing, especially with my braces. she’s very professional but she seems to have a hard time remembering her patients. or maybe she remembers them but she fails to associate the face with the name. anyway, i’m really amused with my dentist coz everything in her clinic is blue green. the upholstery of the chairs (even the chair attached to the xray), her mirror, and even the disposable bib she puts on the patients are blue green. i’ve never had a dentist as OC as her. 

i saw little manhattan awhile ago with some of my friends. it was a nice movie. it’s a good movie actually. it brings back good memories during childhood. at least that’s what i felt while watching it. not that i had a childhood sweetheart or something. it reminded me of how silly i was when i was a kid. well, i’m still silly at this age, hence, the name of the site.

it has a good story about love, seen from a different point of view coz it was from the guy’s side. the movie was chick flick for me but for a friend, it was a serious one. i guess because it was the guy narrating the story. it reminded me again of how courtship is not easy for guys. they go through a lot too, as shown in the movie.

and of course, the setting was in new york city. one of the reasons i love the movie. the movie showed a lot of central park, some of it i haven’t even seen. like the ’strawberry fields’ part.

it’s a must-see movie. it’s also a feel-good movie. it will remind the viewers of how good it is to be a kid and how much you’ll miss it when you grow old.

"of course i don’t hate you. i could never hate you."–little manhattan

for the past few days, most of my friends have been asking me about the status message i put when i log on to yahoo messenger. they think that it’s somehow connected to what i’m feeling at that particular moment. it’s beginning to bother me that a lot of people are always asking me so i decided to write about it, in hopes of them reading this instead of me telling everything again to every person like a broken recorder. so here goes, to begin with, the status messages i put in my messenger are lines i got from books, tv shows, movies, and songs. i keep in mind lines that i think has a very strong impact. examples are:

how can i stand here with you and not be moved by you
every day you wait is another day you’ll never get back

some of the lines that i put are lines that made me laugh:

in my next life…i want to come back as an italian baby
do you know how funny that sounds coming from you?
rule #8: when it comes to love, there are no rules

so there’s really nothing special about these lines and i hope that people will stop concluding that it represents what i’m feeling coz they really do not. (but sometimes they do. haha.)